Разказ на един оптимист

Свят, готов ли си за мен? По-добре бъди, защото ще се срещнеш с един неуморимо луд, искрен, жив, да, жив човек. Една непримирима глава, един нетърпим характер…

Лоши моменти ли? Нима е лошо да приключиш с нещо, било то работа или пък една безкрайно несполучлива, разтеглена във времето като сопол, връзка? Лошо ли е да финишираш, да починеш, след което да се изправиш и да започнеш наново? Има ли нещо лошо в това да погледнеш нагоре към звездите, да мечтаеш опитвайки се да ги преброиш? Лошо? Не, не е лошо, няма лоши неща, има само един път и той е винаги напред, напред към светлината, към протегнатите божии ръце. Защото някъде там, сред мъглявината ни чака една вечна, бащина прегръдка.

Не мисли, приятелю, не се колебай, действай, следвай поривите на своето сърце и душа. Бъди истински като любовта, устремен като полета на ястреб. Решавай, просто не се колебай- да вземеш или да не вземеш решение! Никога не забравай, как би могъл, нали?, че нищо не се случва защото се случва, а защото има причина. Да, във всичко около нас, пък и в нас, има някаква мисъл, причина, за всичко има обяснение, което ние честно не виждаме. Причина, която аз твърдя вярвам, е в наша полза. Не ви ли се е случвало да приключите нещо, което ви е причинило болка и скърби, нещо, което впоследствие осъзнавате е положило основата на някакъв успех или ново начало. При мен винаги е било така, през целия ми живот. Колко измъчен е понякога краят на нещо, каква драма, каква неприязън. Нима всеки край не е началото на нещо ново? Нима смъртта не е началото на новия живор? Както се казва: Think about it! Няма да ви натоварвам повече с размисли на един оптимист! Винаги ще вярвам, такъв съм си! Просто помислете, можете!

P.S Според данни на Световната здравна организация, няма регистриран случай на смърт от прекомерна доза вяра!

Million Dollar Morning

That was my first thought when I woke up today and looked out of the window. Vitosha* was huddled up like a cat, caressed by its owner - the Sun. It was lovely green, alive, warm, throbbing. It was August, a perfect summer morning! This morning I didn’t feel alive, but living, not functioning, but breathing. I felt like a part of something whole, I felt my little, tiny hope that Paradise is somewhere on Earth is not as absurd as I’ve ever thought. The Sky was blue, but a blue without any trails clouds. The trees have become alive, old ents that were chattering on their ancient, absurd tongue.

Why I thought it was a “million dollar morning?” Maybe because, occasionally, we are capable of touching the essence of life, its meaning. What is lifе's meaning then? Happiness? One moment pleasure? What? It is ridiculous to claim I have understood everything, but can millions buy such a moment, millions symbolizing the material ambition? You just realize how absurd is the connection between happiness and material. It sounds funny in “real” moments like this one. My opinion at least… I don’t have the claim to be the Bible or the Quran or any other measure what is right and what is wrong. I understood the link between this summer morning, the Sun, material, happiness… moments, all about moments - no past, no present, no future, only a flash, one second, one blink, one instant. An instant of bliss, a million dollar moment.

It was not a dream, I wasn’t sleeping either. It was not a mere longing, I just grabbed this morning, the happiness. My day is not going to be gray!

Утро за милиони

Това беше първата ми мисъл, когато се събудих днес и погледнах през прозореца. Витоша се беше сгушила самодоволно като коте, галено от своя стопанин - Слънцето. Беше чудно зелена, жива, топла, туптяща. Беше идеалната лятна утрин, август е! Да, в тази утрин се почусвтах не жив, а живеещ, не функциониращ, а дишащ, почувствах се част от цялото, почувствах, че малката ми и скромна надеждица Раят да е някъде тук, на Земята, може и да не е толкова абсурдна. Небето си беше синьо, ама какво синьо, необременено от бялото на облаците. Дърветатa бяха оживели, превърнаха се в стари енти, които бърбореха на своя древен, абсурдно звучащ език.

Само един миг...

Защо си помислих точно “утро за милиони”, може би защото в редки моменти, имаме способността да схващаме есенцията на живота, смисъла, а какъв е той? Щастие? Моментна наслада? Какво? Не твърдя, че съм  прозрял всичко, нелепо е, но разбрах едно - милионите, като олицетворение на материалното могат ли да купят такъв миг? Осъзнаваш колко нелепа е корелацията между материално и щастие, наистина смехотворна дори. Поне според мен… не твърдя да съм Библия, Коран или каквато и да е мярка за прав и крив. Разбрах за мен каква е връзката между това лятно утро, слънцето, материалното, щастието… моменти, всичко е моменти - няма минало, няма бъдеще, няма настояще, има само блясък, секунда, момент, един миг. Миг на щастие, миг за милиони…

Не мечтаех, не сънувах, не копнеех, просто грабнах мига, грабнах щастието… денят ми няма да е сив!

Because... I believe

I write because I want to, I write because I like it, I write because I believe in the one Word, in the words which have something divine within!  I believe because believing is faith, and it is the key that unlocks any door. I believe because it’s better to do so than not to believe.

How easy it seems to believe? Isn’t it the most difficult thing at the same time? Believe! And do you? No, dear readers, not in the Bible nor the Quran, or not even in Christmas, just believe in one thing no matter what it would be. But you can’t, can you?

Personally, I don’t  believe in the Bible, I don’t believe in the sanctity of the Church either, I don’t believe in these god-anointed priests, nor the whole clique “close-to-god” people, but it doesn’t mean I don’t believe in my God. It doesn’t mean you can’t have your own, though you don’t believe in the thing you’ve been told to. Faith is not a thing to require but a choice, another choice we ought to make.

The world is a foul place, hostility, discrimination, hunger, wars, getting worse and worse, right? I believe this is about to change, I believe in the beautiful soul music, believe in the great Olympic champions who symbolize the strength and willingness of human nature. I believe in mothers who raise their kids, believe in childish caress, laughter, hug… I believe in the things I want to, and I overlook the things which don’t exist in my world.

.

Good or bad, to take offense or to laugh, to make a gesture or to neglect, to plant a flower or to kill a little snail - you are the one to choose. Love or Fear - you decide which one to believe in. You choose your God, because the world you live in is the world you have created: you choose the sets, the inhabitants, the colors, anything else even the gods.

To believe is a matter of choice. I made my decision, the rest is up to you!

Related Articles:

• If You Feel Happy
• I Will Never Be Like You
• No Matter If

If You Feel Happy

I love listening to music, we all do, well certainly there are people that don’t, but… who cares? When it comes to music I’m really a chameleon… I’ve changed a lot during the years - from the black, depressed heavy metal teen through the crazy, wild hard rock dynamite (special greetings with TNT to those who understand what I mean) up until the profound, lyric and deep soul music at the age of 23. Right now I have a different attitude towards music - I just listen to anything and if it touches me, I just like it. I don’t really care about genres, styles or whatever. Carpe diem, as my crazy new-yorker friend Lori Griffin Morra says, or grab the moment and the song, and feel blessed you have ears to hear it and brain to understand it.

I’m not a fan of Pharrell nor I will be, I remember him long time ago, but it doesn’t mean that I won ‘t like or appreciate a song he made. I’m talking about his song “Happy” - a commercial bomb which exploded a couple of weeks ago. I heard it… it grabbed me, I watched it - it made my day! I was whispering the chorus “Clap along if you la-la-la-la” while I was in the bus with tired, bored and unsatisfied people. I just loved this “clap along” and I want to suggest you several others clap alongs than  those chosen by Pharrell. 

Clapping man!

Come on people clap along if you see children playing hide and seek, remember the passion, the adrenaline you felt trying to keep yourself hidden. Be a child again, you know it’s lovely.

You see street dancers, they are f**** crazy, wild, making things you can’t even imagine. Stay there and just clap along, this is the only thing you can do. Well, you can give them a couple of coins, right? And start shaking besides clapping.

You see an old couple, very old and they are holding each other's hands… wow, you thought this existed only in the tales. Clap along to those birds in love, bow before the might, power and endurance of Love.

People say “Your job is boring, it’s low paid!” But you like it, then you can clap along and have fun, you can even go outside and start singing  “Clap along if you like your boring job.”

You are nudist! The beach is lying in front of you, hot, burning, and the water offers it’s soft and caressing hands… clap along and meanwhile take off your clothes, this is the way you like it! You can even shake your… legs.

Coffee+coke+chocolate= death… or at least that’s what doctors say, but I like it so much (yes, I am talking about me) and after taking this drug I clap along one day, one night and one hour.

Clap along if you feel lucky enough to have room with a roof and walls. And a bed, and a kitchen and a bathroom and food in that kitchen. Now you realized how much you’ve had.

Clap along if you love life, clap along any moment you feel happy. Spread the word, be the word through action, live and be the change you want to see.  Feel free to rule your own world, life and destiny and never forget - other people also have theirs, respect it as well! I am leaving you people… clapping and singing.


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I Will Never Be Like You

This is a short text, with the idea to show that no matter how the society, or the people, or whatever, "force" me to be like them, or to restrict me, or to isolate me on the island of unhappiness, it won’t work!It's not a threat but a statement! I will never be like you, never… I will be the person I am, and I will respect myself, just a little advice – do this yourself!  Yeah, do it… you will see how difficult it is!

www.antiquiet.com

I know sometimes I don’t care about other people, their sufferings, their pain, their lives, their destiny, their education, even about their grandparents… I know this and I won’t lie to you, this is just me.

I know that I am selfish some days, I want only other people to focus on me, my personality, I want the world spinning around me. Ok, I do it, but I know this and I accept myself. If I say I don't do it, I will just lie myself.

I know sometimes I hurt people. I shout, I swear, I humiliate even hit people… should I be ashamed of this? Most probably you will say “Yes, you should”… my reply: I won’t be like you!

I know that very often I am crazy and people can’t understand me, there are just wondering if I’m sane. But I love this, as one of our most prominent authors, called The Patriarch, said: “ The crazy people, let them live!”

I don’t think this author is the Patriarch of Bulgarian literature, I didn’t even read the whole book from where I used the quote, I simply didn’t like it. It's ok for me to do things I like!

I know I don’t accept authorities, for me it doesn’t matter if someone is a doctor or a professor, or a homeless person. I’m just a free man… nothing matters that much to me as Freedom does. Authorities kill, destroy freedom, they make you follow an unbreakable chain…

I know my thoughts are simply too unacceptable to you…

I know you want me to be a vegetarian, or to read the Bible, or to ride every day a bicycle just because it helps you, or it’s your life… well I love meat, I despise the Bible and I prefer running…

You can’t tolerate a person who doesn’t edit his work after finishing it, well I do it… I don’t care if it has mistakes, we all make, should I be ashamed of this? I’m perfect in my imperfection.

I know there are rules, and I have to stick to them, but I love mocking at these rules, yeah the etiquette was broken and so what? I won’t be like YOU…

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The “Gentle” Souls In The Tough Sports

When we talk about sports we imagine a  lot of muscles, sweat, aggression, motivation… things we can’t call gentle, can we? Especially when it comes to men and “tough” sports like football, basketball, wrestling, boxing, baseball, rugby. There, people fight, kick each other, wrestle, sweat a lot… wohoho a complete mess, right? But there is also a tenderer side of the game. Take a look at those men who have announced publicly they are gays while still playing. Pretty courageous…

1.Thomas Hitzlsperger - football

Thomas

Totally a shock, one of the few people in the professional football to announce he’s gay. He really made the whole guild to explode. Besides, he is the first German footballer to announce this. He is the most high profile footballer to come out as gay. Ronaldo makes the girl’s hearts to jump, throb, now gays have their choice. An action to admire.

2.Jason Collins – basketball

Jason Collins

Huge, tall, tough black man who is an NBA basketball center. Who could imagine that he would admit he was gay? I will just skip Obama’s speech about him, how proud he was and so on… I want to say that Collins is the first openly gay athlete who takes part in a team sport in the USA. Basketball is really a tough sport, so you must have balls to announce “I have a gentle soul”.

 

3.Orlando Cruz – boxing

Orlando Cruz

Nooooo... you say, yes is my answer. Even in the professional boxing, there is one who broke the rules. He is the first openly gay active fighter. It’s interesting what he said when he came out as gay in 2012 - "I have and will always be a proud Puerto Rican. I have always been and always will be a proud gay man. “ That’s what I’m talking about, be proud of yourself!

4.Ian Roberts – rugby

Here come Australia and one of the toughest, maybe the toughest sports of all. This is no place for tender dudes, all you need is a lot of muscles, strength, speed… this dude has all of them plus one more – “gentle” soul. He was the first openly gay in Australia’s rugby history. Brave one, don’t you think. Surprisingly, he was supported by many of the people, including teammates… and he made his “confession” in the distant 1996 when gay sportsmen had been a fiction.  

Ian Roberts

 

5.Darren Young – WWE

Yeah, after football, basketball, boxing, rugby it comes wrestling. This is one of the most powerful “Coming outs” of the world. But, guys he is not the first one in WWE. Chris Canyon and Orlando  Jordan both came out as either gay (the first) or bisexual (the second). What is the unique thing, then? Darren was the first openly gay while he still signed for a major promotion. The others announced their sexuality  when they solemnly retired.

Darren Young

 

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